


The Pink Elephant in the Room

by Michelle Christian (movies_michelle)



Category: House
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-25
Updated: 2010-01-25
Packaged: 2017-10-06 17:08:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/movies_michelle/pseuds/Michelle%20Christian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Episode-tag for "The Down Low." Written for More Joy Day 2010.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Pink Elephant in the Room

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kassrachel](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=kassrachel).



"Why is that couch still here?" Wilson asked from the stove.

House looked up from his cereal. "Is that some kind of existential question?"

Wilson came over and put a plate of bacon on the counter. "Yes, like 'Why is there suffering in the world: famine, disease, that ugly couch in our living room?'"

"I don't know what you have against that couch," House said, abandoning his cereal for the bacon.

"You mean aside from it being hideous?"

"It's the perfect post-gay panic furniture," House insisted.

Wilson turned toward him. "Because nothing says 'I'm a manly man' like a pink sectional?"

"It's peach, actually."

"Yeah," Wilson said, sliding onto his own barstool at the counter, "I can feel the testosterone pouring off of you in waves."

House made as if to take another slice of bacon, then faked left and stole a piece of hashbrown off Wilson's plate instead. "Hey, real men interior decorate."

Wilson ignored all of this. "Besides," he continued, "there was no 'gay panic'. I just don't like people to think things about me that aren't true."

House smirked at him. "People think you're a nice, well-adjusted person, and that never seemed to bother you."

"But that's usually because I'm standing next to you, and comparatively..."

House ignored him in turn. "But really," he said with an expansive gesture towards the living room, "how gay is a couch that physically separates whoever sits in it and gives you a place to set your beer. That is not a couch gay sex can be comfortably had on." He stopped and blinked and said, as if to himself, "If there is such a thing as comfortable gay sex."

Wilson serenly sipped his coffee, then got up to head towards the hall, leaving his breakfast plate for House. "And therein lies the problem," he threw over his shoulder.

House paused with a forkful of purloined quiche halfway to his mouth. "Wait, what?"

***

Several weeks later, House found himself in the elevator with Nora, who was assiduously ignoring him. He whistled casually until they got to his floor, and just as the doors opened, he leaned into her personal space and said, in a confidential tone, "Just for the sake of full disclosure: we are gay _now_," then walked off the elevator.


End file.
